17 Nisan 2025

SEVEN BILLION VERSIONS OF MYSELF

nlybyrm

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SEVEN BILLION VERSIONS OF MYSELF

CHAPTER ONE

-THE PROBABILITY OF TAKING IT ALL IN-

Without taking it all in, just think about how much you can endure without the second it was given so mercifully, so graciously...

She didn't know. She had absolutely no idea, not even a fragment of any thought whatsoever. Without even knowing the pass, there certainly will be nowhere to be found in this godforsaken land. And even though the place wasn't exactly how she imagined it in the first place, she kept walking. The surface was impenetrable. The tears she has shed all these years might save this place from the drought, she thought for a brief moment.

The ticking, always the ticking, isn't it? Annie knew she wouldn't last long on this pretentious planet. So-called pretentious. By the way, yes, that's our character's so-called name.

It wouldn't be this simple if they just let her inside their wells, but, well, there is no need for false misjudgments. Annie has lost her former self, and she was in a seeking with the hope of ever feeling like the little girl again. ''Wouldn't it be nice just to feel plainly happy again?'' she thought for a dreamy moment. No need to surrender; they healed every conduct that has been made in this filthy castle. If they ever find a way to pursue the dawn, let them know that the little girl evolved into brightness, into much greater wellness.

I know I—plainly—and—so competitively—know that Annie has the strength to uncover the scars beneath her soul and fight right back against the soul-like monsters.

There was no one but her in the ~~presence.~~

It's a cheeky way to pronounce that loneliness into so much greatness, isn't it? The greatness wasn't in for all that and had so, so, so many better things to do in its own pathetic, ascended way.

She remembered the lively moments, memories she had spent in that coffee shop. She had wondered for a brief moment, for a little fraction of time; I wonder what they are doing right now. I wonder if my lively momentum still lurks in that place. Somewhere only she knew. Only us. only the fractured ones. With the never-founding peace and the principles that have never been made in the first place.

The utter loneliness that surrounded her, kept in his tongue for all these years, finally found a true match for her. She never wanted to leave. She never wanted that deep slumber into nothingness. The neverending nightmares; suddenly she felt the righteous truth disarm her, turning into a complete wormhole, descending into the sun.

''No one can save me,'' she thought of the fracture of eagerness to survive in this place. It didn't belong to her, this feeling she had tried to let go of. Nothing came to mind. Nothing will ever come to her mind, she thought vigorously, enchanting the corridor, and she recently felt her tears tapping on the floor.

She had the slightest idea of where the hell this place came from or why she was there. ''The incompatible soulmate is indoors,'' said the writing on the wall, just like her full-minded twin was there to entertain her this time, not for the laughs but for the tears themselves. It's funny, isn't it? The capability of taking all the pain doesn't always equal your laughters full of life in these descending corridors of yours. Planted so carefully so no one can add a seed to your minefields.

By the way, don't you think twice about my scandalous thoughts on life and the shocking effects we endure on this road.

I will not accept your filthy staring at my dreams, my pure intentions and my so-called potential. Even you think you have the obligation to knock my values down. Stare at my scars, and then you will feel the laughters on your agonising lies against the wall of the truth itself.

That took a turn now, didn't it? It is a pleasant fact that I no longer fear my anxieties like I used to. Like I was a slave for them for the past 26 years of my self-loathed life.

The voice stopped.

Annie wondered why she had stopped. The voice might not be pleasant about the community she – I suppose – was held into by force because she thinks she would never want to be in her shoes, not even in a fictional book. She was curious about her anxieties. She wanted to listen more, to dwell on the nothingness she had felt while imitating her anger, her frustration, her pettiness, her pain…

No hush was alarmed, and the darkness started to peel in, with the only benefit he could absorb from lonely souls: their hope to feel the sun again.

to be continued...

Love,always
-NİLAY BAYRAM